Missing Identity
by bradhadair12
Summary: I run and run, not knowing where I'm running to, where I'm running from, or even who I am. Rated for blood and violence in later chapters. Discontinued. Sorry.
1. The Flight

Disclaimer: I don't own furuba, savvy?

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The Flight

How long have I been running? I don't even remember why I'm running. All I know is that I have to get away. That I have to escape from the ominous presence at my back. I run and run. One foot in front of the other.

It's raining. When did it start? I don't know. My clothes are sticking to my skin. The pressure is bearing down on me like a thick blanket, smothering me, making my breathing difficult. I slip once. Twice. Water is splashing all around me. I can no long see the sky it is so dark.

I'm in a forest. Tree branches smack my face. It stings, but it is good. It reminds me that I am still alive. The undergrowth grasps at my feet, pulling me to the ground once more. I'm so tired. I want to give up; I know I can't though. The presence will discover me. It will drain every last bit of my strength until I cannot keep my heart beating. I run.

Where am I? I don't seem to remember much. Nothing. My mind is a blank canvas. I don't even know who I am anymore. Run and run. Never stopping, never resting. My life means so much to me. Is there any others out there? Falling once more, only this time into a puddle of mud. It coats my face and clothes, gluing my eyes and nostrils shut. I reach up and attempt to clean it off. I'm shaking so hard I barely manage it.

I need shelter. If I don't get out of the rain soon I will surely get sick. I can already feel the welcoming arms of sleep beckoning to me. It is hard. _So _hard not to give in. I scramble towards a tree and wait. I know that if I don't move soon I will be caught and punished. What have I done wrong? Why me?

Why…do I…even…bo…ther?


	2. The Discovery

Hi! First off I would like to personally thank all the people in my class who beta'd my last chapter! I would like to mention you all by name, but you know me! All right! On with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own furuba, savvy?

The Discovery

I fainted last night. I fell from the tree after a dizzy spell. God my chest hurts. I'm still lying in the same spot where I fell. Hot liquid is running down the side of my mouth. I taste it. It is salty, and almost metallic, but I don't understand what it could possibly be or mean.

I drag myself into a standing position. I'm shaking much worse than before. My clothes are wet, but warm, and are very uncomfortable. The thought of removing them crossed my mind once, but I dismissed it. I have to find _them. _Those who look, act and think like me. I don't belong here.

I begin to panic. I sit down abruptly as my head begins to spin. The bark of the tree I was resting on scratches my back, leaving shallow marks along them. I need to eat, but I find myself without an appetite.

I kneel. Slowly but surely my legs straighten out beneath me. I can hardly walk, but I know I must. My chest hurts. My head hurts. My arms hurt. My legs hurt. My soul hurts.

Voices. Coming this way. _They _have found me! I throw myself into the shadow of some bushes, praying that they will hide me. There are two of _them_. One tall, and on shorter, both with black hair. _They _are smiling, and making strange noises. _They _pass me by, seemingly oblivious to my whereabouts. I let out a brief sigh, but stop as a coughing fit ravages my body.

I follow _them. They _must be heading back to their den. If I can find others like me, maybe _they _can help me. Maybe _they_ can cure my sickness. Maybe _they_ can give me a home. Maybe I'm only fooling myself. I have to try at least. I need to know who I am.


	3. The Unknown

Thank you: 'Me', 'Rachael', 'Gaaralovesme' and 'Faunamon'! Your kind words inspire me! Keep reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

The Unknown

Blood. Lots of it. It surrounds me, caking my clothes in it's warmth. I'm in so much pain; I just want it all to stop. It's _my _blood. I started coughing it up. My chest heaves up and down, trying to bring air into my oxygen-starved lungs. I fear I will drown if I don't clear my chest. More comes up. The pain is unbearable and unbelievable. It never knew a night in the rain could have such an effet on my admittedly weak body. I fear for my life, my very existence.

I'm amazed _they _haven't heard my wheezing. Then again, maybe _they _have, but have ran away in fear for _their _lives. I know I would probably do the same. The blood has stopped flowing. My vision is blurry now, and multi-colored flashes of light are scattered across my vision like blossoming flowers. I force myself to my feet and stagger about ten feet before collapsing into the mud. I have almost no strength now: this sickness has taken it all from my grasp. Maybe the precence has unknowing caught up with me, and this is it's method of punishment. This thought pushes me to my feet and drives me onwards.

I can see light in many colors. Just ahead of my through a break in the trees. I push it aside and am met with an astounding sight. Tall rocks protruding from the earth almost touching the sky, with holes in them!. _They _are somehow inside these rocks, gathered together around boxes which appear to be the source of the light, with moving images of _them _on them! The ground is hard and cold beneath my feet, nothing like the soft, squelchy ground of the forest.

I stagger towards the nearest rock and peer inside. It looks warm and cosy, like a small community wrapped up in their own individual existence. Like me. I am like _them_. They strive to protect each other and to make each other comfortable, something never seen in the other animals that have crossed my path. No one is alone; there is always more than one of _them _inside a rock, holding eachother and cradling _them _from the biting cold outside that stings my flesh and sends shivers down my spine. Oh, how I wished to join _them_, but I am sure I would only get in _their _way: I'm an outsider, and couldn't possibly be accepted into such a private existence.

A noise emits from behind me. I turn slowly to stop myself from becoming too dizzy again, and am met with the faces of a group of _them_. Sme appear frightened, others concerned. The one who attracted my attention looks angry, and makes a long string of nonsensical words, none of which I can understand. I try to back away from _them_, but am met with the side of one of the rocks. I try to put my hand through the hole in it, but I stops with the intervention of something invisible but totally solid. My breaths are coming in short gasps now, and my chest feels like one thousand needles have pierced it. It turn back to the crowd, too quickly. The world dances infront of my eyes, and I am only vaguely aware of the screams as my body hits the ground with full force.


	4. The Sedation

A big fat thank you to 'zweichaos', 'Gaaralovesme' once again and 'RatsRule'!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

The Sedation

I surrounded by white. It's so bright it burns my eyes and leaves afterimages on the inside of my eyelids. I'm faintly aware of hushed voices in the same room as I am. I try and move, but I'm so weak and tired it hurts too much, and I can't prevent a moan from escaping my tightly sealed lips. The room suddenly becomes silent. I can feel the anxieties of _them _across the room from my: it feels like tar coating the insides of my lungs. Maybe that's just the illness. I still don't feel any better. All hopes I had for a cure are now gone. If _they _responded to my precence in such a negative way, _they _will surely reject me completely. I'm doomed to ie as an animal.

Footsteps draw closer. They are heavy on the ground, so I guess _they _are wearing heavy clothing that drags _them _to the ground. When they come into my line of vision, however, I'm proven wrong. Tall with short, dark hair, the mystery person loomes over my fragile form. Another joins _it_, this one shorter, but with equally short hair. _They _scan my eyes, but I'm not sure what for. I glower back at _them_, daring_ them _to draw closer. The emotion in my eyes frightens _them_, and _they _retreat back to the opposite end of the room and speak with another one who has just arrived and is standing in the hole in the wall.

I attempt to rise. I can't move much. I look down and I see white sheets covering my body. Beneath it a thick, brown band can is restraining my wrist, keeping it firmly locked in the one position. I put all my strength into breaking it, stretching it as far as it will go and then some. _They _dash over and speak calm words, but I no longer see _them _as anything but hostile. I try to throw _them _off my torso by thrashing around wildly like the blind and frightened animal that I am.

One of _them _comes back with a sharp, pointed stick and jams it into my arm. I scream louder than I thought possible. _They _are obviously becoming stressed, especially the smaller one. Suddenly the bands snap and I am free. I leap to my feet and lash out at _them_. I strike one across the face, leaving a red blemish as a reminder of my strength. I flee, throwing the film across the hole wide open and tearing down the street as white as snow.

I'm running again. It's all I ever seem to do now. I pass many of _them_, pushing boxes on wheels infront of _them_. _They_ all seem surprised at my sudden appearance, and many shout after my retreating back, but I ignore them all. I have to escape. I have to know everything! My movements are slowing rapidly, and I soon have to stop for breath. The stick must have messed with my system: I'm beginning to feel somewhat drowsy. I stagger farther down the white path. This place all looks the same to me. Just an endless stream of white pristine cages.

I feel the edges of darkness creeping into the back of my mind. This is reminiscent of when I collapsed in the street infront of _them_. Why does this always happen to me? Why can't I just go home? I fall onto soft grass, indicating my escape from _them_. I'm finally free. I run more and more until I reach a solitary house. This one is different: it appears to be made of paper! How it stand up I have no idea. I cut my knee on a sharp object on the ground. Closer inspecting defines it as a blade of some sort. I slowly put it to my wrist and drag it through the bulging vein. Hot, red substances spills from the gash. My vision is going blurry again. I'm finally going to die. I hope my legacy remains with _them_. I wanted to be accepted; I realize that is impossible.

Suddenly, a tingling feeling sweeps over me. It feels like fire is coarsing through my entire body. I'm on the ground again, but this time I'm thoroughly confused. I try to stand up, but my legs feel like they're in the wrong places. My hands, or what used to be my hands, glide across soft, silky fur, matted with the rd from my still bleeding wrists. The paper house opens and _they_ run outside. These ones are different: _their_ hair is uniquely colored. All except one, who's hair is just as dark as any others. _They_ are all calling the ssame word, over and over like a mantra. Can't they just leave me to die? The darkness finally clouds my vision, taking my consciousness with it into oblivion.


	5. Author's Note

Author's Note

Hi! Bradhadair12 here!

I'm very sorry to do this but I figured it would be a good idea to get some things sorted out. I also don't have much inspiration at the moment, so this will help fill the time gap.

Most of you have probably already figured out who this story is about, but to humour those who haven't figured it out yet, I will call this person 'Clive'. (this doesn't mean it's a boy...)

Clive has global amnesia. S/he doesn't know who s/he is, or where s/he comes from, or anything for that matter. S/he has pneumonia from running around in the rain. I hope I managed to make the symptoms as convincing as possible. Anywho, Clive stumbles upon civilization, but manages to scare the locals due to the fact that s/he acts more like an animal than a human, simply because s/he doesn't know how to act as one. S/he collapses and is taken to hospital, escapes, and ends up at Shigure's house! A quick transformation later (that part was really fun to write) and s/he is noticed by... and s/he collapses. Again.

I will now answer the question my beloved reviewer 'GaaraLovesMe' asked while reviewing chapter 3. (Great name by the way!) _They_/_them_/_their _are humans. Clive doesn't yet recognize that s/he is in fact a human her/himself, but does acknowledge the fact that his brainwaves resemble theirs, shown by the fact that s/he can strategize, form a more complex analysis of situations any surrounding, and plan a route to safety.

Another thing. I'm sorry to disappoint you'se lot, but I am English (British for that matter, howay the Geordies!), and for all I use the japanese honorifics '-san', '-chan' and '-kun' at school, I will not be using them today, savvy? It's simply too much hard work, especially if I got them wrong!

I hope to update this story once every two or three days, due to the fact that I attend the Air Cadets on Mondays and Fridays, and Senior Choir and Senior Orchestra at school on Tuesdays and Thursdays respectively. (OMG my social life is booming!)

I have noticed that my chapters are getting longer as this story progresses, and I'm hoping that this is a good sign.

If anybody leaves a review requesting certain characters to show up in future chapters, I will try to make it happen, however I'm just making this up as I go along!

I'm sorry to have wasted all this time telling you all this useless information for no apparant reason, but I promise I will wait until Saturday, 15th December 2007 for requests for guest appearances before the flow of creativity is released once more! Please note that this doesn't mean that's when 'Missing Identity' will be updated. I'll get around to it whenever.

I think that's all for now. Thank you for listening! (Reading?)

Bradhadair12


	6. The Recollection

WOOHOO! Chapter 6 finally up! Before I start I wanna give 'RatsRule' and 'Automailmechanic' a big, fat hug for their reviews! My spirits are elated! By the way, the rating of this story WILL go up in later chapters. Just thought I should mention that.

Finally some speech! 'This is for speech in memories.' "This is for speech in real time."

Disclaminer: I don't own furuba, savvy?

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The Recollection

I slowly open my eyes. The lids feel like lead weights. At first my vision is blurry and warped, but after the haze of exhaution lifts I can see the sky has become a pale brown color, much like the bark on the trees. A thin layer of fabric is covering my body, much like the one in the place I just escaped from. Am I back there again? Did they somehow manage to find me? I'm too tired to even care.

I slowly move my arms. Everything is back where it should be now. I don't know what came over me...I don't know when it happened. I could have been out for several light-and-darks. The skin on my arms prickles as it they move, like hot needles being pressed into them. It only gets worse, but seems to subside after a while. My legs are numb, but I can vaguely sense a warm heat caressing my lower appendages, almost as if coaxing them awake with it's thawing glow.

I turn my head. The sky somehow stops and bends straight down to the ground, which is firmer than the ground outside! I must be in one of the rocks that _they _inhabit, only this one is made of paper. A section of the down-sky is made of the same paper as the rest of the house, but the rest I assume is dead trees. Suddenly, I realize that I am not looking at the sky at all, but the sides of the house I'm in, only it appeared bigger from the outside.

I rise too quickly and begin to choke. In all this excitement I'd forgotten the sickness which has my fragile body in it's grasp. _They _didn't help me. _They_ didn't care. All hope is lost. It would have been better if I had just died in the forest. I remember when I first stumbled across this strange construction. My wrists are wrapped tightly in fine, soft fabric; it must be to stem the bleeding. Why didn't _they _just let me die? Couldn't _they_ see that it was what I wanted? I'm beginning to hate _them_ for ruining my existence like this.

Footsteps are approaching again. I must have inwittingly alerted _them_ to my consciousness. I steady myself, ready to fight for my life if the need arises. The paper wall slides (?) open to reveal someone with shoulder-length hair and wide, staring brown eyes. I can see the tears pricking the sides of It's glossy orbs; It is obviously very distressed at my current condition. It screams something and runs towards me. Taking this as a threat I lash out. It grabs my hands and brings It's self closer to me. Stunned by It's strength and determination I cease my assault and allow the terrified sounds of It to wash over me, calming my frayed nerves and allowing my breathing to become more regular.

This one is different from the rest. It cares. I allow myself to be pulled closer into It's embrace, just enjoying the comfort I've been so long deprived of. A peaceful calm settles over my mind as areas that were sealed begin to unlock. I see myself as a small child running around with the few people who ever gave a damn about me. I see myself spotting a lonely and dejected girl leaning against a wall, staring at the laces on her new shoes.I see myself thundering towards her and offering my grubby but welcoming hand and speaking the words, 'Come on, Kagura!' I see her incredulity that someone would take notice of her. I see her smile warmly and respond taking my hand in her and allowing herself to be swept away in the energy of the moment. I see a grown man standing at the sidelines, smiling down at us, hand in hand.

"Kagura." Someone is speaking aloud now. Is it It? No... that can't be right considering the way It is looking at me now. If what has just happened is one of my memories finally being released then maybe this is Kagura? Her mouth is opening and closing in a hilarious imitation of a fish. I begin to laugh, and she joins in. It feels good to finally have someone to share in my joy. I know I'm not alone now. I know someone out there cares. I know that I have finally found peace. We laugh together for what seems like an eternity.

I stop when my lungs threaten to break down, and what was happiness becomes foreboding as my body screams for mercy. Kagura is scared now, and pats my back to try and help me clear my lungs. It only makes it worse, but I can't find the words or breath to tell her to stop. Blood streams down my chin as I almost lose consciousness. I'm hanging on to the only thing that keeps me from becoming a shell of the person I once was. Kagura is screaming now, and I can feel the floor vibrate under the paces of _them_... no... they're like me. I shouldn't ostracize them.

It hurts very bad. Much worse than any other time this has happened to me. My lungs finally collapse and I find that air won't enter my lungs anymore. My windpipe has become blocked and I'm drowning in my own blood. The footsteps seems to slow down, getting further and further away, even though it is not possible. More join us in the small room, but I'm too weary to even attempt to recognize them as individuals. I black out again, but not before hearing the crowd scream what can only be my name: "KYO..."


	7. The Liberation

Hi! OMG that last chapter was over 1,000 words long! Some one-shots don't reach that target! Once again a big thank you to 'GaaraLovesMe' and 'RatsRule' for their lovely reviews.

OK! Ha'ri's turn now! This chapter has a lot of...wierd stuff in it. You'll see what I mean when you read the chapter. This was great to write! I'm light-headed now though from all this adrenaline! Enjoy chapter...I don't remember...of 'Missing Identity'! Your's sincerely, Bradhadair12.

Disclaimer (I keep forgetting to put this in): I don't own Furuba, savvy?

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The Liberation

I wake again. All this fainting is beginning to take it's toll on my patience. I'm beginning to become very grumpy, even after the events of God-knows-when. Somehow this moodiness feels very familiar, comforting almost, as if I always acted like this before I got amnesia. Things are starting to make sense now, but that does nothing but make more questions appear. Why and how did I get amnesia? Did I have a whole over life before this tragedy? I must have had, if I remembered Kagura.

Kagura. I wonder where she is? I sit up slowly this time, learning from my previous mistakes. The room I'm in is pretty bland, only displaying a neat desk and set of shelves. I'm lying on the floor again, only this time in more comfort. A box stands near to me, radiating heat somehow. It seems familiar to the box in the other place. I wonder if I'm still there. I don't see why I would have to be moved. The floor feels the same; the atmosphere is _very _different. It's caked with worry, anxiety and shrouded secrets, nothing like the relaxed air of the other place.

I spot a section of the wall that deviates from the rest. I seems to have a broad outline around it. I crawl towards it, not wanting to stand up in case I fall over and inflict more pain on my body, and gently brush the surface of my fingers over the wall. I moves back and slides to my left, revealing a stunning sight, making me take in too much oxygen again.

I see a garden. Flowers of thousands of different colors, shapes and sizes frame the scene beautifully, with a small pond swirling around moss-covered rocks. It reminds me of a piece of paper I once got from a friend, though who it was from escapes my clutches. What was it again? Oh, yes. A postcard. I've never seen something so beautiful, or at least I don't think I have. It is a great contrast to the environments I've been living in. I almost throw myself into the pool before I remember the illness with a depressed sigh. Everything always loses it's vibrancy everytime it tightens it's grip around my life.

A gentle yet sombre voice calls out from behind me, and I spin around to glower at the being slouched in the hole in the wall. It appears to be quite tall compared to Kagura, with short, dark hair, and only one green eye! I briefly contemplate why It has only one eye when clearly It should have two. It ambles nearer, but stops when I growl warningly. I'm in no mood for strangers.

It raises It's only eyebrow and puts down a bag I hadn't noticed before, and unclamps it. It removes some bizarre instruments and kneals down next to me, ignoring the waves of venom curling around me. It speaks more gibberish and swiftly removes my mud and blood caked shirt and presses the head of one of the instruments to my chest. I scream as the icy bitterness burns my chest, causing It to retract quickly. I jump to my feet and tear out of the room and towards the garden, but trip over a carefully placed leg. I struggle furiously, my chest heaving, but freeze once I feel a hand on my forehead and see a pair of suddenly fierce eyes boring into mine, as if searching my soul.

White light wraps it's self around my mind and body, gently soothing the neurosis that has somehow set in. I feel lightheaded, as if I'm floating past the stars and the misery of the world I found myself in. I'm breathing in the very essence of life and all creation, and breathing out pure light, as if I'm a God. I can feel feel my body evanescencing, until I'm only an awareness. Even then, I begin to gently unravell to become part of the flow of life once more, and the wierdest thing is I really don't give a damn about any of this.

I'm back in my body again. I'm panting and sweating like a beast as I try and grasp the concept of my epiphany. My eyes fly around the room, trying to catch glimpses of the sweetness and purity I just felt. I know I'm panicking now. I must be insane. This cannot be normal. I felt as if _I _was the creator of the universe, as if _I _could control anything and everything, as if _I_ were part of everything and nothing. I'm such a freak.

"You're OK."

It was more of a statement than a question. My attention is brought make to the man infront of me. The man called Hatori Sohma. The man who just showed me the creation of the universe and jolted me back to my body in no time or effort. The man who I'm now staring at fearfully. The man who must be God himself.

"I presume you know who I am, right?"

I do, but how can I tell him? I don't know how! It suddenly hits my like a bag of bricks. _I don't remember how to talk!_ Damn. DAMN! Thisisbadthisisbadthisisbad! I'm panicking again now. I need to calm down. I just want to get up and shout at him, to release all these pent-up words and emotions I don't know how to release. At least now I can finally understand the once-garbled words. I wonder if I could repeat them back to him or not? Maybe he'll freak out. That would be funny.

"I'll take that as a no. My name is Hatori Sohma. I'm a doctor. A while ago the head of our family, Akito Sohma, requested that your memories were erased. Why, is something that cannot be disclosed to you. Now if you'll just relax your self enough to breathe without rattling like a bucket of frozen peas then I'll fill you in on what has happened. Then you can tell me what you know, or more specifically, what you still remember..."


	8. The Epiphany

Hi! Bradhadair12 here! Wow this was updated a day early, but I had the inspiration, time and desire for a vent for my stress to sit down and do some more work!

'RatsRule' must really love me! S/he, along with 'GaaraLovesMe, whom I _know _is female as she goes to my school, review a lot. I hug you all!

Oh yeah. I've added new formatting! _Sentences in italics are used for writing. This is used a lot for now but I don't know about other chapters._ Single Italics are used to _emphasize_ certain words. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

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The Epiphany

I sip the liquid. It tastes horrible, like sour lemons. Hatori claims it will help ease the chest pains that have been growing stronger, but so far all it's been doing is making me want to puke. An awkward silence has settled over the two of us. Infront of me lie several sheets of paper, covered in my messy scrawl. I may not be able to speak now, but I can at least write half legibly. I've made great use of this fact. I've had a lot to say to him.

I'm confused. There was so much to take in; not all of it makes sense. The curse seems to make sense: it explains the strange feeling before. I'd transformed! Into a cat! I don't get the beads though. Apparantly they 'seal the monstrous and malevolent spirt within me' according with Hatori. I was right. I am a freak. I can't help but wonder what the other members of the Zodiac are like. I'll have to meet them all over again. They're gonna be shocked when they find out about my memory surpression. And this Tohru Honda person...

I feel much better now that I've had a shower. All the mud has been washed of my body and I'm feeling more awake. I've also had a change of clothes. I feel lighter now - I must have lost some weight. I inspected myself in the mirror before I returned to Hatori, and I can't say I wasn't displeased. Apart from the hair (carrot orange, what a disgusting color) and eyes (red...) I look just like anyone else. Even so, I still feel like an outsider, like I don't belong anywhere.

"So, I've told you everything. It's now time for you to repay my service."

I gently place the sickening drink down and begin to write on a new piece of paper:

_I don't really remember aything. There was a time, in the other place, where I remembered Kagura..._

His eyebrow raised when I mentioned her name. That must have been quite a surprise.

_...but there isn't anything else._

He sighs with obvious disappointment. He must have wanted more results. I'm ashamed that I couldn't give him any more, but he does seem to know more about the situation than I do. I pick up the pen and begin to write again. He notices the jagged and inexperienced scratching of pen on paper, and sits up slightly, waiting to read my message. After I finish I flip it around and slide it across the floor to him.

_When you tackled me, you placed your hand on my forehead and I experienced something strange. I felt like I wasn't in my body anymore, and I flew past the stars and was God. I felt my body unravel and my mind disperse, but then I was dragged back to this place. What in the hell is this?_

Hatori looks quite suprised at my question. I wonder why? He looks up at me and removes his glasses. He looks quite handsome without them, and as he takes them off I notice the second eye hidden beneath his hair. God I'm such an idiot! Any other person would have guessed this straight away, but _nooooooooooo_! I'm brought out of my mental rant by Hatori speaking again, this time very slowly, as if explaining to a child.

"Throughout the ages it has been accepted the the dragon of the Zodiac, which maifests it's self as a seahorse, has the ability to erase, or release previously erased, memories. This skill, however, has never been used on another member of the Zodiac before, as no one knew how they would react. Akito made it clear that he wanted your memories erased regardless of the consequences. What happened was that, because we are both held by the same curse, your mind accepted the process too well, meaning all of your memories were erased. When I tried to release your memories the same thing happened."

He sat up straight, and for once I could see previously invisible creases around his eyes and the disguised bruises under his eyes. This man had obviously seen some hard times. It must have been very bad for someone of his posture, but maybe those times have caused his icyness. I felt a stab of pity. Hatori begins again, this time faster and frought with worry and apprehension.

"The reason I can't tell you why your memories were erased was because I, Akito's closest advisor, do not know! He never told me. He doesn't trust me with his secret. I'm only going to tell you this once. You're different from the rest of the Zodiac, and Akito wants you dead because of it. When I tried to release you're memories you remembered something which no living being could ever remember, no matter how powerful I became: the creation of everything!"


	9. The Reintroduction

Hi! Sorry for keeping 'RatsRule' in suspense! Thanks 'RatsRule' and 'Zweichaos' for reviewing! I would like to warn you: this story will be loooong! I just thought to mention that when I realized I've only written 8 chapters! I just want to quote Ash Ketchum from Pokémon! I found this quite amusing!

_'I'm having a major hat crisis. Could you steal Pikachu some other time?' - Ash Ketchum/Red_

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Reintroduction

I reach out and place a hand on his head. His hair is quite brittle, like straw. It doesn't seemed to have been washed or brushed in some time. He looks at me with puzzled eyes, trying to find the cause of this action. I've learned to hide my emotions well, and simply return his gaze with a hard edge. I figure this action is not usual for me, though I don't suppose I would know, would I? I just can't believe that his hair is naturally that color.

Hatori sits behind us. He has a book in his hand and a glowing stick in his mouth, which is slowly emitting nauseating fumes. He is watching us carefully, not that I could see with him behind me. I can feel the hairs my nape standing on end under his strict stare. He is obviously displeased with this new-comer's arrival. He musn't have finish talking, though he appears outwardly to have relaxed. I can still sense his unease, though.

"You remember Hatsuharu, don't you Kyo?"

_Yes, I do._ Of all the stupid questions to ask! I have no memories! Sheesh... this Hatsuharu-person is quite taken aback by this comment. He musn't know yet. If only I could tell him. Hatori quickly recalls the situation, but in significantly less detail, and with a few falsities put in. I turn a questioning glance in his direction, but he rebukes with a 'Say-or-do-anything-to-doubt-this-and-I-will-nail-your-hands-and-feet-to-the-wall' glare. I quickly turn away.

Hatsuharu. I should know this name. Come on, me! Remember! Nothing yet. Just give me some time to think. Hatsuharu calls my name softly, and I turn towards him. His gaze has softened now, almost in pity, but more in disbelief. I simply close my eyes and smile joyfully. This will freak him out. The action is unnatural to me. It's as if my facial muscles have never pulled the corners of my mouth up so far. It still feels pretty good.

I see him kneeling on the side of the road calmly, waiting for me to regain my posture from tripping over a thin wire around my ankles. I see him sitting in the other place with a man I don't remember yet, having brought back a girl whose face is unfamiliar, yet totally unforgettably sorrowful. I see him and I clashing with great force infront of a boy with gray hair and a girl with blue eyes. I see us in a long street with walls, passing each other as we travel in opposite direction to different places.

When I open my eyes again he seems to be on the verge of fainting. I think I pushed it to far. I raise my hand and force a pointed finger in his face making him take a few steps backwards, and lodly proclaim two words which will forever be imprinted into my mind:

"'Haru Sohma!"

'Haru seems very happy at this and smiles even wider than I did, if that were possible. He grabs my arm and drags me into his embrace, rubbing the top of my head with his fist. I wriggle playfully out of his arms. We laugh at that, and I turn to see Hatori smiling softly. Things seem to be looking up again. I turn to them both and speak Kagura's name. 'Haru replies first.

"She's waiting for you at Shigure's house. We all are. You've been missed a lot, especially by Tohru-"

That name again...

"-and we're all waiting for you to come back. If you feel up to it, Hatori will drive us, _right_?"

Hatori seems displeased, again. It doesn't take much. He protest, saying that I have something caled 'New-mown-ee-a', and that I should stay here so he can keep an eye on me. I don't want to stay here. I feel caged. I want, no _have_, to get out of this place and it's suffocating atmosphere. I glower at him and edge closer to 'Haru. He gets the hint and finally agree's to chauffer us, saying something about 'getting lost' and 'three whole days'. He sounds annoyed. I hope it was my fault.


	10. The Bully

Hi! Wow I haven't updated in ages! Lots of things have been going on, but it's finally the x-mas holidays! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Once again thanks to 'RatsRule' and 'GaaraLovesMe' for their reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Bully

My knees hurt. I've been kneeling in the same spot for what seems like hours, but has probably only been ten minutes. The suspense is killing me, literally. It's making my chest hurt, though not as much now that Hatori has helped. Some of my hopes have returned. I believe in the fact that I _can _belong somewhere. Having something to believe in makes my existence a little more worthwhile.

Hatori and 'Haru are kneeling behind me, in the same position. They're there to 'keep an eye on things', whatever that's supposed to mean. I don't see how they could make much of a difference, cursed individuals or not. I can feel their emotions rolling of them in waves. They're anxious, hurt, irritated, worried and impatient all at the same time. How is it possible for someone to feel so many things in one go? I know I only have room for one emotion at a time.

The door, which was previously the 'hole in the wall', slides open to reveal a wan figure. Whoever it is seems to be in poor health, like they've caught one to many viral infections. He walks slowly and menacingly over to me, and stands there, just watching me. Hatori came to me before this happened and talked to me. 'Don't look at him in the eye. He has an...obsession with eyes. Also, don't argue with anything he says, or fight back. He's weak and very fragile. He also has a lot of power, and can make your life hell.'

"Have you anything to say for your self?"

I think it's best just to stay quiet. His presence frightens me. It's the same presence that followed me in the woods. I stare at the patterned floor infront of me, tracing the swirls with my eyes. It's oddly hypnotic.

"Nothing? Oh, of _course_, I forgot you can't speak."

It doesn't sound like he forgot, more like he doesn't care. I'm starting to get ticked off now.

"Well then, allow me to speak for you."

No thanks. Really. I don't want to know what he has to say. He bends down and takes my chin in his hand, pulling it up until we lock eyes. While mine are full of vigour and rebellion, his are cold and demanding.

"You are a disgusting monster. You pretend to be ignorant and innocent, but I'm not fooled. I can see right through your facade. You try to decieve those around you to make everyone's lives miserable. No one wants you here. You belong nowhere. You should be denied to right to exist!"

My stomach churns. It feels like he just vocalized all my internal troubles. How could he know what I'm thinking? He brings back his other hand and slaps me across the face. I choke down the urge to express my suffering. I must have deserved this somehow. I can't believe what he just said is true. Hatori and 'Haru don't seem to hate me. Their stories are filled with people who care about me. Was it all a lie? I'm confused now. My head is pounding with the brute force of the action. He grabs my hair and drags my to my feet. Hatori and 'Haru are seriously freaked now. I guess this is a first for them.

A glimmer of light. I see it, in the pocket of his robes. I don't know what it is, but knowing his demeanor, it must be malevolent. He throws me to the floor and pins me down. I see Hatori and 'Haru responding, _finally_. It took a lot. They grab an arm each, and Hatori cries sentimentalities to attempt to calm him down, but he's too enraged. The glimmer of light is shown to be a blade of some sort, which I become very well familiarized with when it slices my right cheek open.

I can't hold it back any more. I scream loudly. This seems to stun him into brief idleness, and I take my chance to deliver a swift kick to the head, sending him flying. I scramble up, and ignoring the utterances of my name, charge for the door, flinging it upon as wide as it will go, and running out into the rain once more.


	11. The Despondency

Hi! Yay 21 reviews! Merry X-mas and a Happy Chinese New Year! February 7th this year! And year of the Rat! It's gonna be awesome! Thanks to 'RatsRule' and 'GaaraLovesMe' for all the support they've given me throughout this story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Despondency

I'm running again. I hoped never to have to suffer like this again. It's almost like before: I'm just as confused and hurt. Why did Akito hurt me like that? What have I done to deserve such brutality? Why did he call me a monster? It doesn't make sense. _Nothing_ does. Not anymore. My life is unbearably complicated. I can't express it. It's too much. _Too much_.

The path falls away beneath my feet. I can hear them slapping against the cold concrete of the road. This place is so dead. I don't understand how anyone can live like this. Don't they know what the forest is like? Maybe they haven't left this place before, but why? Maybe they're being punished by someone, by Akito maybe? Maybe they're punishing themselves. They don't deserve this. _I_ don't deserve this.

The rain stings. My cheek hasn't stopped bleeding yet. I have to cover it before it gets worse, but I can't think clearly. I'm in utter turmoil. My thought are racing around my head, mixing with emotions and ideas until they all blur into one big bulbous mass of confusion. I haven't slept in days. My whole body feels like it is being dragged down with weights. Man, I hate the rain.

I slip. I don't seem to have much balance when running in terror and bewilderment through unknown territories in precipitation. This has to have something to do with being a cat. Akito's words drum on the inside of my skull like sledge hammers. He's right. I _dont _belong here, or anywhere. How can I, when I have no memories, live with a curse, and can't even defend myself again weiners like Akito? He _does_ have more strength than he lets on though, but there's no point in trying to give myself justice in this state.

I keep running. People are staring now. I must look a sight. I feel like one too. An outcast. A moron. A freak. A _monster_. I'm crying now. My own hatred is beginning to scare me. How could I think such things about myself? I realized, then, that they aren't _my_ thought, but the thoughts of others. Beings from my past.

I see myself curled up in a corner, trying to shield myself from all the violence that is directed towards me. I see my mother's funeral, knowing she killed herself because of me, and yet am unable to shed tears. I see the hateful stares from the locals as I walk down a street, too afraid to stay in my own home, prefering to bear the heavy weights placed on me by strangers than those placed on me by my parents.

My whole life has been one misery after another. I _knew_ I should have died when I slit my wrists. There is no reason for me to exist. I was born a burden, and I will _die_ a burden. I chest is hurting again. DAMN IT WHY WON'T EVERYTHING LEAVE ME ALONE!

Oops. I said that out loud. Lucky I'm back alone in the forest. I fall again. I don't even try to get up. It's over. It's over. It's over. My first spoken sentence and it's depressing. Man oh man. This is a _bad_ day. I don't even think 'bad' cuts it. Everything that can go wrong _has_ gone wrong. Someone is coming. Can't they all just _LET ME DIE!_

"Kyo? What are you doing out in the rain? Are you hurt? Sick? Please talk to me!"

What a stupid question to ask. 'What are you doing out in the rain?' As if I _want_ to be out here. I'm so pathetic. I can't even muster up enough energy to penalized this person for their stupidity. She bends down and lifts my head onto her lap. What does she think I'm made of, China? More like brick. Hard, cold and ugly. I've been through too much to break.

She stokes my head soothingly. I start to relax slightly. I just _know _this is another trick, but I'm too tired to care. I feel the familiar rush of flames through my body and transform. I must be stressed. Oh, way to go, Captain Obvious! She doesn't appear frightened or shocked, though. She must already have seen me as a cat. How? Where? When? _Why?_

"Kyo, we've all been worried. Hatori rang us up. He said you'd left. Ran away. Why, Kyo? Did he do anything? No, he wouldn't. Then what? Oh, I should have been there. Ishouldhavestayedwithyoubuthatoriisadoctorandhesaidblahblahblahblah..."

She's starting to ramble on. I stopped listening and just focused on the pattering of the rain again my wet fur. It's handy to be covered with such a thick, natural layer of warmth sometimes. I bet I'm hot in summer. I wonder if I have to shed my fur, or if I don't stay long enough as a cat to need to shed. I wonder if I'm affected by catnip? Do I have to sleep in a cat bed if I transform before bed time? Do I hate the rat from the Zodiac? Or the dog?

She realizes I'm not listening and stops talking. Thank goodness. My ears were going to start bleeding if she didn't shut up soon. She takes off her jacket and wraps me up in it, but it's already so wet that all it does is to trap the cold in. She's obviously very naïve if she expects it to help. Why does my life have to be in the hands of such an incompetent idiot? Nevertheless, I begin to drift off to the rhythmic sounds of feet against water. _Step, splash. Step, splash. Step...splash..._


	12. The Combat

Hi! Thanks to 'RatsRule' and 'GaaraLovesMe' once more for their reviews. That last chapter _was_ depressing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Combat

I'm in a bed. It's soft and springy, easing my aching limbs and back. It's a relief not to be on the ground anymore. It's less than soft, I can tell you. The sheets are silky and smooth, which is a bit too fancy and girly for my liking. This _cannot_ be my bed.

Wait a sec. I'm in a bed. Not on the ground. I jump up and prepare myself for battle, but nothing comes at me. I'm alone. I've developed a fear of being alone now. What was it called? Oh yeah, monophobia. How do I know that? I've never come across the word before. My head hurts. All this thinking is going to make me go bald.

I gingerly step down from the bed. The floor is freezing, making my toes turn to ice-cubes. The floor looks and feels like the floor in that other place, where I met Kagura. In fact, so do the walls and doors. A large section of the wall is made out of paper, unlike the rest. It slides back, blasting me with chilled wind from the storm. There are so many storms here. Maybe I should move.

I slam the door shut with difficulty. I do a quick U-turn and head out another door. This one doesn't lead outside, thank goodness, but into a corridor. I ignore all the other doors and head down a flight of stairs. At the bottom is _another_ corridor. You'd think these people had no creative spirit, as the whole place looks the same. I open the first door on the right, and am met with a room full of eyes.

The girl from before is kneeling by a table, eyes full of concern and... fear? Two men are with her, one with black hair and the other with gray. I recognize the one with black hair from one of my few memories, sitting in this room with 'Haru. I wonder if they are also cursed. Maybe they know how Hatori, 'Haru and Kagura are doing. I hope they're all OK. They have to be better than I am at least.

The female almost pounces on me, but refrains from doing so. She simply stands infront of me smiling happily and starts spouting a load of nonsense again. She never seems to shut up, but she seems so happy to see me, I can't help but smile back. The two guys look shocked at this, but I don't particularly give a damn about them anymore. If they're not prepared to make any effort to greet me after all I've been through, then I have no time or space for them.

They finally rise and the black-haired one stares very closely at me. I simply glower back. I don't like his attitude. He then pulls back one hand and clobbers me over the head, catching me off guard. As i topple to the floor he begins a tiresome monologue that goes something like this:

"Kyo! We've all been so worried! How could you hurt poor, innocent Tohru like this? You should be ashamed! Ah well. Que sera sera, as they say. Ha ha ha ha!"

Oh crap. A loony. He just loves to hear himself talk. Tohru looks very embarassed at this. She must _really _have been worried. Wow, someone worried about me. Other than 'Haru. Hatori didn't seem to care. I wonder if he's talked to them. Probably not. They don't seem to be informed about what happened. Mind you, neither am I, and _I'm_ the one this all happened to! Besides, how could he have met with them so fast? He would have had to have had some sort of machinery that uses a handset to convert sound waves into electricity, which travels along a wire, to a sattelite in Space and down to another machine where it is converted back into sound waves and given off by another handset. That will never happen of course.

"You stupid cat, you shouldn't have expected such a feat to work on us. You're such an idiot, trying to trick us like that. When will you learn?"

Idiot. _Idiot?_ I'll show him who's an idiot! I aim a punch at his head, but he easily dodges it, kicking me fiercly in the side. I go flying straight through the paper wall. It didn't hurt, but it makes me _so angry_! Who does he think he is? Acting like I staged the whole thing! Does he know how sick I am? Does he think I inflicted the wound on my cheek myself? He's the idiot, not me! And what with the gray hair? Is he trying to set a fashion statement, or does he suffer from premature graying?

I'm just about to throw another punch in his directing, hoping to scar his pretty face like Akito did mine, when something grabs my wrist and drags me backwards against my will.


	13. The Family

Hi! Thanks to 'RatsRule' as per usual, and welcome to the _very_ late chapter 13! I hope everyone had a nice Christmas!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Family

"Kyo! What a lovely surprise! I came here to further deepen the bond between Yuki and I, and instead I find you have return back safely! Of course, who _wouldn't_ come back with me here _and_ Tohru's wonderful home cooking! Even _I_ can't resist it! Hahahahahahaha!"

Dammit! _Another_ loony! Only this one is even _louder_! I swear I can feel my blood boiling with fury. I need to get out of here soon, before I throw a fit. Why does nobody know to leave me alone so I can mope in my own self-pity for a bit longer? _Geez _the house is full of imbeciles. Excluding Tohru.

"Ayame! I'm honored you would come all the way from your house just to come here!"

"Naturally, Shigure! I just had to visit!"

"YES!"

NO! _Make it stop!_ All this gay-ness is making my head spin. So, these two are 'Ayame' (white hair) and 'Shigure' (black hair), and the _moron_ is 'Yuki'. Not that it matters to me though. He's still going _down_ later! Makes sense though. Those two are _obviously_ related. Even I can tell just by looking at them, and I don't even remember them! Yuki looks horrified and disgusted, and for once I agree with him. He quietly sneaks out the door while the fuss continues, but return miserably with Hatori at his back.

"Must you two make so much noise? I have to do my job, so if you don't mind, sit down and be quiet."

Surprisingly, they do. I was sure no one would have the guts to try and tell them what to do, and even if they did they're both so caught up in the moment they wouldn't hear them anyway. Hatori sets down the briefcase and pulls out the unstrument of torture again. I wince and step back but he only presses it onto my clothes. It doesn't burn. I'm relieved.

He listens to my breathing a bit longer until he tells everyone to sit down and starts telling the story again. I get bored and wander off. I find a room full of books and pick one up, but instantly replace it. It's disgusting. How could someone write that, let alone read it? I find myself in another room full of units and strange metal appliances. I've got no idea what any of them do, so I have a bit of a poke around.

Hatori finishes. I can feel the tension seeping through the wall. I stick my head through the door to make sure everything is OK. I'm met with silence. That and a mixed reactions including shock, confusion, pity and hate (doesn't that guy _ever_ give me a break?). I roll my eyes and head outside. It's quite nice after the storm, but I can feel the pressure still lingering.There's gonna be another one soon. It must be the rainy season.

I wander off in any random direction. I get the feeling things aren't gonna be the same anymore. Between my family (bleugh) and I. Not after all that's happened. I still don't know how 'Haru and Kagura are; I don't give a damn about Akito. I've become even _more_ of an outcast than ever, and I still have to worry about going back to school! Can my life get any better?


	14. The Nightmare

Hi! It's been a while but it's finally up! OMG I'm such a bad writer! Cries Anywho, thanks to 'RatsRule' again, and enjoy (finally) chapter... ummm... you know... I can't believe I had to track down episode 24 to get the speech right! I could even find it an English dub _or_ sub, so I just made them up!

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba, savvy?

* * *

The Nightmare

I'm so tired. I just want to lie down, go to sleep, and never wake up. What would that be like? Would I be missed? Would anybody even notice? What would my sleep be like? Would it be calm and peaceful, filled with ideals and happy endings? Or would the skies rain blood and fire, would the world tremble beneath my body, would monsters and other horrific sight rise from the ground, representing my fears and insecurities? Would I even dream at all?

It's dark. The moon is covered by a veil of clouds so thick I can hardly see at all. I can feel tall grass swaying around and beneath me, like an ocean wave, gently caressing my body. I can hear the wind howling through trees around me, like the steady moan of ghosts. When I die, will I become a ghost, for all my wrong deeds? Why must I thinks so much? Non of it means anything.

I smell blood. Not mine, luckily. It smells metallic and warm, and I'm magnetically drawn towards it. I feel forward with my arms, until they brush against something warm and soft. It lets out a low moan. It must be in pain, but I don't really care. I'm glad I avoided the fate that befell this creature.

I see wounds, mostly on it's chest. Blood seeps out of the gashes, almost as if it is trying to flee the creature that it once sustained. I bend down and close my mouth around the wound, and begin to suck.

It's so _good_. Like nothing I've ever tasted before. It pumps into my mouth and down my throat, leaving a burning sensation like liquid fire. It's so sweet and fatty, I must have more. I'm getting excited now. _Never _have I been allowed such pleasures! I suck harder, and it flows faster. I'm getting dizzy from the effect. It's like a drug, urging me on to take more.

The blood stops suddenly. The creature is still now, it's chest no longer rising. It must have died, poor thing. At least it's last deed was to supply me with my fill, and for that, I thank it's soul. The cloud move. The moon appears. I recoil in horror.

It's _human_. My own kind! _I just sucked the blood from another human!_ How could I? Why did I not recognize it. I'm scared: I enjoyed it! There are more, all children, some writhing in pain, others completely still. I can feel my body turning around and fleeing off into the night. I run and run. I never seem to stop.

I reach a pool of water and skid to a halt. Breaking the crystal clear surface in an attempt to wash the blood from my hands. I don't open my eyes. I'm too scared of what I'll see if I do. A _monster_, that's what! A being that murders it's own kind for _pleasures_! I slowly open my eyes, and find myself staring into the eyes of a hideous being, with skin as brown and as wrinkled as parchment, eyes as purple as Amythests, and teeth dripping in blood.

I flee once more, this time from myself. I don't know where I'm going, just as long as I get far away. I run past a house, but stop when I see a child infront of me, looking at me with no fear in his eyes. I know I should go. I don't want to hurt anyone else, but something in his eyes compells me to stay. I realize he's talking, in a low and weary voice.

"It's disgusting."

"Stinks of rotting flesh."

I wake with a silent scream. Another one. I remeber now. When I was younger, I lost control of the Cat spirit inside of me. I was teased for wearing the Juzu beads. Some bullies ripped them from me, and I... ripped them apart. And drank their blood. Oh God. Save me! From myself!


	15. Final Note

Hi! You're all gonna hate me for this... but it must be said.

Ahem.

THIS STORY IS DISCONTINUED DUE TO BOREDOM!

Sorry. I'll curl up and die now. You should expect some poetry soon though!

TTFN!

Bradhadair12.


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